in praise of praise

using love speech

Here’s a really good opening line:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of darkness.

— Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

Long live the days of balance.

Shall we usher in a bit for ourselves?

Lately, what makes its way to our ears is something along the lines of it is the hellish time, the age of idiocy, the season of the sale, the epoch of misinformation, the autumn of disease, the interminable era of doom.

Lately, we talk a lot about hate speech, conflict, injustices, and inequities.

May I suggest we can do better?

I know we try but we fall a little short.

We find puppies hugging ducklings, celebrate families dancing together, and share pushy but well-meaning posts about maximum potential. Still, somehow, what holds our attention is complaint. And the algorithms of our new age connection are quick to put them front and center.

Our focus is refocused— again and again— on the worst of times.

Meanwhile, balance presents itself— again and again.

Someone made a mandala under the magnolia tree. Last night, three choruses fed my heart with their enthusiasm for music and love. This morning, I met a young father who laughed with me as we marveled at his toddling baby’s brand new balancing skills. I got to hold hands with a stranger who wanted to pray. I watched as a friend rushed across the room to help an older man collect something he dropped. And someone from the dentist office ran down the block to bring me a forgotten water bottle.

The best of times are so simple.

I know you experience the same… when you let yourself become present where you are.

We see so much pollution on screens that we’ve come to believe in our pollution. We may even feel compelled to contribute. We complain. We commiserate. Some of us don’t even consider how we might clean up. Instead, we point and sigh.

Or, we ignore.

I’m not suggesting that there isn’t much to mourn. Men and women live and die on the street. Americans are unhealthier than ever. In both situations, our collective willingness to investigate the sources of our suffering is outwitted by questionable remedies for symptoms. As in, who needs to alter sleep patterns when a pill will knock them out? Or, who wants to invest in quality relationships when social media offers an audience? Who wants to do the work of befriending spirit when a few beers will create friends for a night?

It’s all good. It’s all the world. Only… maybe we want to feel better in the morning? Or, always?

Maybe we want to experience joy, compassion, and contentment simply because we’re alive.

So join me, please, in countering the narrative with the good things you find. Take a look around, beyond your phone, and venture a smile and hello to a few neighbors. Tell people about your loving experiences, the accomplishments of your friends, the wisdom of your guides. Share your joy, comfort, and love. Be the creator of a world that deserves your eager heart.

I’ll start. I mentioned three choruses. A lovely friend invited me to see Stronger Together, a collaborative performance by the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus, Coro Gay Ciudad de Mexico, and Coro Gay de Tijuana. On stage, about 100 people celebrated the family they create through community and song. In sequins and a little nervous, the director of Coro Gay CDMX invited everyone to join their voices with him and all the singers in love speech. I cried, grateful to encounter a new friend. (And I was wearing sequins too!)

Shall we all practice?

Please join me in a nice, deep breath. Yes, we suffer. All of us, at various times, from something or other. Also, wellness awaits— physical and emotional in every moment. Our well-being sits patiently, waiting for us to acknowledge that life moves through us in beautiful, healing ways. We all know the happiness of laughter, the tenderness of touch, the generosity of compassion, the inspiration of virtue, the encouragement of bravery.

Let’s offer this to one another. Let’s use gentle words and gestures.

When we forget, let’s be grateful we noticed and begin again.

Let’s remember who we are: creatures who love and hurt, who help and fear, who act, fail, innovate, and relieve. We are animals who live on earth. We need movement, sleep, food, water, sunlight, and air. We thrive in connection and suffer in separation. We forget these things but have great capacity to remember and redirect.

This week, take some time to support someone’s beautiful mission in life. Maybe you congratulate a colleague on hard work you’ve observed. Maybe you give a few dollars to a food kitchen or arts group or community center. Maybe you invite a friend to the botanical gardens, the museum, or church. Maybe you live into your own beautiful mission… you sit with a grieving friend or send a thank you notes far and wide. So many important endeavors are waiting for your kind words.

So join the good. Seek and you will find.

Take one step and then another. Create love speech with me. Say good things.

The whole world is listening.