I’m a big fan of gratitude. I cheerlead for it. It really is #1.
While thankfulness has always been a part of my life, I confess it used to be pretty intermittent in my life. It wasn’t until a mentor encouraged an intentional practice that gratitude grew some roots.
Let me take you back…
I was an unhappy lawyer. Too often, an unhappy woman. And while, yes, sure, I could have focused on my good fortune, I didn’t always see it. What I saw was difficulty and what I felt was the burden of carrying it.
My mind was so trained in confirming hardship that I struggled to sense the pleasant, unmediated presence of ease. I missed so much, every day. I neglected the infinite blue sky when I walked to work, the husband and his playful puns, the camaraderie of friends.
My first gratitude practice, (thanks Kathleen), was meant to be completed in evening lists. Instead, I wrote letters. (Kathleen was always patient with me.)
I wrote a thank you note to my body. Strong, vital body: she healed a broken wrist, recovered from a little ulcer and tolerated my cold turkey rejection of coffee. I sent an email to my younger self for gathering an education. If the lawyer’s fight wasn’t for me, I still appreciated the intellectual acrobatics of it and my skills at cocktail talk. I thanked my abundance. I recall realizing how a wealth of youthful despair had converted to a wealth of adult compassion.
These love letters changed me. They shifted my course.
It took time, (and guidance, and yoga, and love) but the letters taught me to reframe my daily experiences, to honor my resilience, to express my thanks directly to others. They assured me of our shared good fortune— yours, mine and everyone’s.
Importantly, I discovered in every thank you a ready seed of joy. That seed matures into smiles, hugs, trust, calm, and wonder. The seed grows joy. Joy spreads.
Since that time, I’ve done my best to share these seeds. I’ve also learned how gratitude benefits our whole being. In thanks, we become whole, content and calm.
The body gets a good dose of dopamine and serotonin. Our blood pressure and immune system benefits along with our sleep .
Our energy experiences a balanced boost as anxiety softens and depression recedes.
Our minds learn to investigate reasons in support of thanks. When disappointment arises, we know how to shift the mind toward curiosity, acceptance and integration.
Our personalities are rewarded with confidence, trust, and compassion—for ourselves and others.
Our spirits become a guiding force in our inquiries into meaning and purpose. With every thank you we offer, we chance to see the light of our essence merging with the essence of everything.
I invite you to join me in a joyful celebration of all things calling for thanks. Every day from now through Father’s Day, I’ll post a little thank you note on substack notes. Please join me there and share yours. Or, share in the comments! Or, do it as you please. But please do it!
And thank you.
Here are a few gentle suggestions.
Please choose a time of day to count your blessings. Your regularity creates new habits. Call it Gratitude Time. Let it be as special as the objects of your appreciation and as consistent as brushing your teeth.
In your journal, on your phone, on a post-it you stick on the fridge, write down 5 things for which you are truly grateful. Repeat the following day, with 5 new things. I think it’s important to also make note of a ‘why.’ Example: I’m grateful for my home because it shelters me and allows me to welcome others.
Write a thank you note to some part of you— a body part, a memory, a talent, an accomplishment— and be sure to let this part of you know why you’re grateful.
Choose people to thank. This can be someone close or a stranger who smiled. Write a thank you letter detailing your appreciation. Make note! Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are coming… maybe, you write a thank you letter to your mom or dad, for starting this whole adventure you’re on. Please note this exercise works whether the person you choose is alive or has passed, is in your contacts or not. You choose whether to send the letter or simply let the meaning carry through the ether.
Before you settle to sleep, review the day for 5 experiences for which you are truly grateful. Offer your quiet thanks to each experience and the conditions, people, and choices that brought them to being. Then, sweet dreams. Simple and powerful.
Make eye contact, say thank you and feel. Give yourself every opportunity to sincerely say thank you to family members, friends, co-workers, pedestrians, pets, flowers, birds, sun, moon, and stars. Feel the gratitude that comes back to you. Enjoy.
Dear friend, thank YOU. Your presence here is special to me. The fact that you read this far encourages me. The possibility that you’ll join me in cultivating gratitude in our world inspires me. The way you offer your thanks feels like love.
We share this earth. We’re brothers and sisters. We may not always get it right but we can be grateful for every way we fail, learn, and try again. We can be grateful to be in it together.
Thank you is the prayer to merge with life.
Thank you.
It’s brilliantly simple. We are here. Thank you for always encouraging the noticing all there is to be thankful for. It’s limitless.
Love this!! I needed this. Will read it again.