Hello and welcome to week one of our to be kind series! Thank you for dedicating some time to kindness.
To begin, we’ll set our personal intentions. An intention is an objective. Sometimes, we don’t allow ourselves to know the importance of our motivations. Still, here you are. You’ve chosen to take the time to read this far. What might be your heart’s mission and your mind’s reason for investigating kindness?
Moving forward without intention is like watching the ground for a sprout you never planted. Something may grow, but it won’t be what you were seeking.
Be mindful of intentions. Intention is the seed that creates our future.
— Jack Kornfeld
In our guided practice, we’ll kindle our intentions for kindness by feeling when we’re kind… and when we’d like to be kinder. And I’ll encourage you, below, to spend time befriending the person you’ll become as an intentional cultivator of kindness.
First, a short story. It’s about an intention that yielded kindness.
Once upon a time, I was a despairing teenager. I had dyed hair, braces, pimples, and a morbid loyalty to hating everything. I kept my head down, sometimes hidden by a veil, usually under a floppy hat. Acts of kindness by others, and there were memorable attempts by family, friends, and good teachers, rarely landed. I didn’t feel worthy to receive them. And my own efforts to be kind were awkward. I refused eye contact and swallowed the sound of my voice to avoid hearing it.
And then summer came. I moped in the heat, loathing things. Maybe under the weight of misery, my perception cracked open. I became intensely aware of my body’s tension as it tried to contain this infinite disgust and the foul thoughts to justify it. My body trembled; the unchecked emotion overwhelmed me. I don’t know how long it lasted but in a widening chasm of awareness I sourced a peaceful solitude totally connected with everything. The shaking intensified; in my terror, I put all my attention on that tethered aloneness and waited.
What’s clear in my memory is a revelation arising when my body finally relented. It’s been a guiding principle since:
If I can love others, I can be loved.
It was an equation about capacity, energy, and the reciprocity of its flow that made perfect sense. It changed everything… over decades.
In the immediate aftermath, I decided to try something new; I decided to be loving. I changed schools, changed my clothes, let my hair grow, ditched the hat. On the first day of school, I talked to people. I made friends in every class, ate dinners at the table with my dad, went to parties, smiled. This intention to be loving released my resource of kindness. We all have it; we just have to open the channel.
The best part? I discovered that kindness mattered. To others. To me. To love. And when I was kind, I seemed to matter. I became a friend. I lifted my voice. And friends listened.
When we’re kind, we matter.
I’m not suggesting that we all take a moment to intensely hate everything in order to pop out a life-saving realization. But we might pause to reflect on the ways kindness has saved us.
Please have a listen to the guided meditation above and take some time to contemplate the following questions. You may enjoy keeping a kindness journal so you can revisit your ideas later!
Take an inventory of your kind acts for the day. Who received them? Who didn’t, but perhaps might be a good recipient tomorrow?
How would you like to build your inventory of kindness? What kinds of thoughts, words, actions would strengthen your kindness supply?
How does kindness matter to you?
How do you matter to yourself when you are kind?
Who will you become as you cultivate kindness?
Thank you for every way you’ve been kind, my friend. I hope you’ll remember to apply your kindness to yourself at every moment, recognizing that every divine gift we receive is meant for us to unpack before we pass it along.
Please share in the comments if you discovered a kind act you’d like to offer… and how you intend to deliver it!
Thank you for being you. I’m so grateful you made time to be here.
If you find this lesson helpful, please consider sharing with a friend. This is how kindness grows. And remember, this series will be free until the end of the year but your support is always appreciated. Thank you for your understanding!
Love! And be kind.
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